It’s Day 4 of the Whole30 and dang, I’m emotional. Maybe I need a bagel…
Or maybe it’s because I’m about to do something crazy.
Before I say what, let me ask you a question. Have you ever felt called by God to do or be something? Pulled toward a particular cause, vocation, relationship, fill-in-the-blank? Have you ever felt like a dream was placed in your heart? Perhaps by something or someone bigger than you?
Next question: How confident did you, or do you, feel about it? (Whatever “it” is.) Do you go through seasons of certainty followed by serious doubt and discouragement? Questions, wondering, worrying if you’re wasting your time, if you mis-heard God, or if He even had anything to do with this to begin with…
I’m going to the She Speaks conference. Tomorrow.
That may not sound crazy to you, but as I gather my things, I’m riding an emotional roller coaster. The excitement and even intimidation are not surprising. But other thoughts have snuck up on me. Accusations, really. Like “presumptuous,” “self-indulgent,” and even, “delusional.”
You see, this is a conference for women who feel called to write and/or speak.
And who am I, exactly?
Surely if I am REALLY called to this (to be a writer OR to attend the conference), I should feel more confident. Right?
But I don’t feel confident right now. Of anything.
(Again, maybe I just need a bagel?)
So back to you. Have you been there? Are you there now?
Allow me to share these words I read this morning:
“For years I wrestled terribly with insecurity over my calling. I panicked, fretted, and prayed as if God’s call was as fragile as a glass Christmas ornament – as fragile as I felt… I’ve come to believe that very little of this is as fragile as it feels… God is ever at the helm, patient and foreknowing. HE is the furthest thing from fragile.” – Beth Moore, Children of the Day, pp 75,76 (emphasis mine)
Will you try something with me? When your heart struggles to discern a calling – or stay faithful to a calling (or figure out what a calling even looks like)… let’s help remind each other that our sure footing, our peace, and our purpose is found not in the calling, but in THE ONE WHO CALLS.
PS. Please take a minute and check out the Beth Moore Bible study I quoted above. Children of the Day is a nine-week journey through 1 & 2 Thessalonians. I’m only on week 3, but you guys, If you’re looking for an exciting guide to the richness of God’s Word, this is a great one! And if you’ve already done it – or are currently going through this study – please let me know! I’d love to hear from you! (Click here to check out the study.)
*Update: a few people have asked about the videos that go with the study. I only have the workbook – there ARE video teaching sessions you can order, but if you don’t have room in your budget (or schedule) for that right now, the workbook has been extraordinary all on its own!