Suzy Homemaker Strikes Back

Suzy HomemakerI’m really consistent about cleaning our home – not just straightening up, but actually cleaning. Especially bathrooms. Especially the toilets in those bathrooms. You know, the rim, under the seat, and all around the bottom of the toilet where it meets the floor… I really stay on top of that mess.

[LIES. THOSE ARE ALL LIES. I’M LYING.]

Why do I hate cleaning bathrooms? Because, THE PEE. I know, I know, of all people I should be very comfortable with pee. But it’s different when it’s ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE’S PEE.

Today, as I cleaned up ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE’S PEE, I reminisced about the classic note found in every girl’s bathroom stall. You remember, don’t you, ladies? Say it with me:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle ,
be a sweetie and wipe the seatie !

Except I wasn’t feeling quite so cutesy. So, I’ve updated the mantra:

If you miss when you piss ,
CLEAN IT UP YOUR OWN DAMN SELF .

Maybe I’ll cross-stitch it.

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